Wrtiing the Private Eye

The Private Eye Novel has been a favorite of American reading audiences since back in the thirties. Its early popularity grew out of such characters as Dashiell Hammett’s Sam Spade, Ross Macdonald’s Lew Archer, and John D. MacDonald’s Travis McGee. Hammett’s The Maltese Falcon has become an American fiction classic. There is no shortage of definitions for the detectives who populate these stories. Probably the most definitive is the one used by the Private Eye Writers of America in picking winners for its annual Shamus Awards.

They define a “private eye” as any mystery protagonist who is a professional investigator, but not a police officer or government agent.

I had no idea of creating a PI when I started writing about Greg McKenzie, a retired Air Force OSI agent, the protagonist of my first four mystery novels (plus a later fifth). In fact, I wasn’t even thinking series. The first book involved a hostage taking, and I wanted a character with investigative experience who would have all the tools he needed to compete with the bad guys and rescue his wife. While working on that story, I consulted with the Special Agent in Charge of the Office of Special Investigations at Arnold Air Force Base.

It wasn’t until the end of the second book that I realized Greg and his wife were perfectly suited to get into the private investigation business. The last three books have dealt with cases they took on with unexpected results. A few reviewers referred to the books as cozies, though I didn’t see them that way.

If you’ve never been in law enforcement, how do you learn the basics of writing about private investigators? It helps if you’ve been a newspaper reporter. They use some of the same techniques as detectives. Also you read a lot about PIs, both in fiction and fact. I have two books about private investigation written by two working pros I know personally.

I was surprised when I got a review of the third Greg McKenzie book that started out, “If you’re interested in seeing how a real private detective works try Chester Campbell’s Deadly Illusions.”

That was only topped by a review of the fourth book that began, "The Marathon Murders is a skillfully woven tale that shows detective fiction wannabes how it’s supposed to be done.”

Although I enjoyed penning the exploits of Greg and Jill McKenzie, I wanted to try my hand at a more gritty private eye story. So I conjured up Sidney Lanier (Sid) Chance, a Green Beret in Vietnam, a National Parks ranger for 19 years, and a small town police chief for another 10. He left the NPS after being shot and quit his police job over false accusations of bribery.

Sid is the protagonist in The Surest Poison and The Good, The Bad and The Murderous, the two books in the series. Apparently I succeeded in telling a more hard-boiled tale since one reviewer said I was channeling my love for the written word “into the kind of fiction writing that those with a penchant for Lawrence Block can enjoy.” If you don’t know Larry Block, he writes really hard-boiled stuff and is one of Mystery Writers of America’s Grand Masters.

So what’s the secret to writing believable private eyes? In my view it’s keeping your detective’s eyes and ears tuned to pick up any lead, whether it be a phone call, a scrap of paper found at a crime scene, a casual observation by a witness, and following it wherever the trail takes him. And you’d better obstruct the trail with plenty of boulders and booby traps.

The early PIs were strictly loners, but as the twentieth century wound down, it became popular to give private investigators sidekicks. Jasmine (Jaz) LeMieux fills the spot for Sid Chance, though she’s not like any sidekick I’ve encountered before. She’s rich, being majority owner and board chairman of a chain of truck stops, but followed a pretty weird path in getting there. After quitting college over a disagreement with her basketball coach, she served in the Air Force Security Police, was a professional boxer, and worked as a Metro Nashville policewoman.

Barbara Norville, in her book Writing the Modern Mystery, says “the primary attribute of the private eye is his unique sense of justice, and this is the theme of all private eye novels.” I agree, and it’s the raison d’etre for my PIs. As we learn about Sid Chance, “the possibility of taking a twisted situation and making things right was the lure that kept him in the business.”

Check out my books on the website HERE or on Amazon HERE.

Designed to Kill Is Free Today

If you're new to retired Air Force investigator Greg McKenzie, and his wife, Jill, here's your chance to get started for free. Today (Saturday, Sept. 14) through Monday (Sept. 16), the second book in the series, Designed to Kill, will be available in ebook format for the Kindle at no cost.

Don't have a Kindle? No problem. Download the free version to your Windows computer or tablet, Android phone or tablet, iPhone, iPad or MAC, Blackberry or Windows phone. Just go to the Free Kindle Reading Apps Page and pick your device.

Designed to Kill is a tale of greed that leads to murder. It involves a high-rise condo on the beach at Perdido Key, Florida designed and engineered by the son of Greg and Jill's best friends from the first book in the series, Secret of the Scroll. A party in the 15th floor suite celebrating completion of the project ends abruptly when the balcony falls, killing two celebrants.

The investigating sheriff's officer tells Tim Gannon his balcony caused two deaths. The next morning Gannon is found dead of a gunshot wound at the nearby Gulf Islands National Seashore. The deputy says "suicide" and the medical examiner agrees.

Tim's dad, Sam Gannon, Greg's best friend, disagrees. He asks Greg to go down to Florida and find out what happened. As Greg digs into the case, assisted by Jill, he finds lots of disturbing facts.There are plans missing, an obstinate contractor, a too-slick developer, and an inspector angry over a disrupted love affair.

When Mafia goons rough him up, Greg realizes it's time to target a murderer. But who? Jill's help with the case leads to a partnership that goes through the next three books. And there's another in the works.
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Deadly Illusions Is Free for the Kindle

When I set up my tent at an outdoor festival, I can count on a few people to gaze about the array of covers and ask, "Which one do you like best?" My stock answer isn't really an answer at all. It's a statement. "That's like asking which one of my kids do I like best?" That would be partly true, partly a cop-out. It's true I don't have a favorite, but I view some a bit more fondly than others. One in this category is Deadly Illusions. Trouble is, this is the least expensive of my books at $12.95. Like all of my mysteries, though, it's only $2.99 for the Kindle.

And today, December 26, through Saturday, December 29, Deadly Illusions will be free to download from the Kindle Store here.

This is the third book in my Greg McKenzie Mystery Series. I particularly enjoyed writing it since it involved Greg and Jill opening McKenzie Investigations and launching their careers as PI's. The  response from reviewers was encouraging.

Spinetingler Magazine wrote:

"Campbell's engaging style and masterful plotting makes for a fast-paced, thrilling read. His sharp wit left this reader laughing out loud at times, yet the steadily building suspense made for a white-knuckle, edge-of-the seat ride."

Midwest Book Review had this to say:

"Greg McKenzie is a senior investigator who relies on his experience to compensate for the brawn he might have engaged in the past. His wife, Jill, is an accomplished pilot, cook, and is the perfect partner for her husband. Campbell juxtaposes her correction of Greg's "blue language" and her obvious spirituality with her determination when the going gets rough and she has to use some of the private investigator skills that most people would shrink from. All in all, DEADLY ILLUSIONS is another winner in the Chester D. Campbell literary cabinet. Campbell obviously has many stories to share, and he continues to write fabulous mysteries."

In the book, Molly Saint hires new PI's Greg and Jill McKenzie to check into her husband's background, then disappears. It starts them on a tangled trail of deceit. Complicating matters further, Greg gets drawn into a troubling police investigation stemming from the assassination of the Federal Reserve Board chairman at a Nashville hotel. The case resurrects old problems with a Murder Squad detective and his colleages among Nashville's finest. The deeper the McKenzies dig, the more deadly illusions they face. After threats, break-ins, and another murder, the charade ends in a shocking showdown.

I enjoyed writing Jill's character, and the readers appear to approve, as witness the comments of Midwest Book Review's Shelley Glodowski above. Jill does something quite unexpected in this story, but I won't say anymore as I don't want to spoil it for you.

One dilemma mystery writers face is the necessity to continually ramp up the tension by putting your protagonist in progressively more dire situations. If you aren't careful, they wind up facing impossible odds. In this book, Greg and his homicide detective friend find themselves defenseless, confronted by a remorseless killer.

What happens? Read the book. 

How to Write a Novel

First you sit down with a pencil and a piece of paper. A pencil? In this day of PCs and laptops and Alphasmarts? A pencil can’t get you on Twitter or Facebook or Blogger.com. Maybe not, but it can jot down all those notes you gather to get started.

John Steinbeck used as many as sixty cedar pencils a day in his writing, and Ernest Hemingway was a major pencil user. I don’t advocate writing your mystery in pencil, but the marvelous little device is a must during the creative process. Look at this neat display of penciled notes on my desk. Okay, neatness isn’t my specialty.



There’s a website called Pencils.com that has all kinds of info on the wooden widget. It notes that the pencil is the only portable, lightweight invention that can draw a line 35 miles long, average 45,000 words and correct its own mistakes.

If you thought it was a latter-day invention, you’re way off the mark. Scribes in ancient Rome wrote on papyrus with metal styluses that left their mark on the forerunner of paper. Some early styluses were made of lead. This led (a little humor there) to calling the legible part of the pencil "lead," although it’s made of graphite.

The first lead stick pencils were wrapped in string. Sort of like those peel-off China markers that will write on most anything. During later times, the lead (or graphite) was inserted in a hollow wooden stick.

Pencils first came into popular use when mass produced in Germany in 1662. The first U.S. pencils were fashioned by a cabinet maker in Concord, Massachusetts after they became unavailable from England because of the War of 1812. Incidentally, Leonardo da Vinci did a lot of pencil sketching. Don’t know how much penciling Dan Brown did while writing Leonardo’s Code.

Meriwether Lewis, the famed explorer of the Lewis & Clark Expedition, carried “1 Set of Small Slates & pencils” on his historic adventure. Which brings us back to mystery writing. My character Sid Chance in The Surest Poison was the former police chief of Lewisville, Tennessee, a fictional small town near the Natchez Trace where Meriwether Lewis died in 1809.

One other note regarding the noted explorer, a small town not far off the Trace named for him, Lewisburg, is home to one of several pencil manufacturers in southern Middle Tennessee. Nearby Shelbyville, better known now for its Walking Horse Celebration, was once called Pencil City. Tennessee became noted for pencil making because of its abundant supply of eastern red cedar, the best wood for writing instruments.

The Shelbyville Pencil Company, which started in 1933, gives their pencils four-to-seven coats of paint and can turn out 400,000 a day. But no doubt the yellow variety called No. 2 is the No. 1 choice of writers.

Now you know how to write a novel. The next question is what do you put in it? Words, of course. And where do you get them? Can you spell t-h-e-s-a-u-r-u-s?

Checking the date on the entry below this one tells me I have neglected this blog the past week or so. I've been holed up working on the next Greg McKenzie mystery. I'll try to do better in coming days. Depends on how well the new book, tentatively titled A Sporting Murder, plays out.

Scheduling Writing by Christine Duncan

Christine Duncan is an Arvada Colorado mystery writer. She got her start in writing for the Christian market writing for Sunday School magazines. Her credits include Accent Books and Regular Baptist Press. Her Colorado based, Kaye Berreano mystery series debuted in 2002 with the book, Safe Beginnings, which dealt with arson in a battered women's shelter. Safe House, the second book in the series is out in paperback this month. Although the Kaye Berreano mystery series is set in a battered women's shelter, Christine's husband wants the world to know it's not because of anything he did! Read on and enjoy her discussion of Scheduling Writing.

Somehow people get the idea that writers spend all day writing/editing in some quiet room someplace. I often get questions on my schedule. The answer? I'm uh, working on it--the schedule I mean.

First off, I need that quiet room. It does not exist in my house. It's not at my husband's office either--where I spend a lot of my day. I have heard of a lady somewhere in the back part of the high country of Colorado who has a quiet room on the third Thursday of the month when her husband goes out of town and her children are off to boy scouts after school and her mother and friends are playing pinochle. I have offered to rent it out, but she tells me the rent is way beyond my poor writer's means.

Lacking the quiet room, I will take an orderly segment of the day. You know, an hour when you can just concentrate on one thing. I work for my husband so it should be possible to squeeze some writing in somewhere. He's even amenable to it as long as I get my work done. So I just need to find some order somewhere to focus. What I really want is a schedule.

My husband tells me that it is impossible, as I am the multi-tasker in the family. This is just my husband's nice way of putting this. Where I come from, they call that the go-for. You know, the customer wants this, go for.... I go pick up drawings or sometimes, I deliver them. Occasionally I go to pick up the check, go to the bank, pay some bills, so then I get to go to the post office. I go to the office supply place, go pick up lunch. I'm not exactly following any plan here--just doing whatever, whenever it's needed. It's not conducive to concentrating on anything, let alone writing. I'm not complaining--work is good. I like to eat, but it's not a way to get a schedule. So I have a day job. Most writers do.

So, like many, I write when I can find the time. Some people I know get up early to write. I already get up early to pray and to run. By the time breakfast comes around, I'm sweaty, and starving--but usually peaceful. I can't fit writing in there.

As a result, I try to fit writing into the other end of the day. I have a deal with myself that I can't go to bed until I've written at least one page, handwritten. This works for me.

I like to sleep--a lot. So I will sit on the loveseat after all my favorite shows have gone off the air for the night and write. Often once I get started, I will write more and go to bed feeling virtuous. Sometimes, occasionally, it will all look like drivel and the one page is a very hard slog. The amazing thing is that when I go to put the whole deal into the computer later, I can't always tell what I thought was drivel and what gave me that feeling of accomplishment.

You know, come to think of it, I guess this is a schedule in a way. Next time people start to ask me when I write, I guess I will say I write at night, just before I go to bed. It sounds organized, doesn't it? Hmm. I may have something here. So...when do you write?

Visit Christine at her website or at her blog.

Why write a mystery?

Why did you decide to write a mystery, people are always asking us who do. My stock reply is that it’s an opportunity to do what frequently does not happen in the real world around us. Namely, see that the evil suffer their deserved punishments and have our little corner of the universe restored to equilibrium, for however brief a time.

But maybe it goes deeper than that. Perhaps it’s an urge to trot a few of our alter egos out on the stage and indulge in a little morality playwriting. Our protagonist is the Everyman character, and other players portray a variety of evils and a few laudable traits. Some of the less-than-stellar quality figures and a good one or two will be dismissed along the way as not germane to the plot (i.e., red herrings). In the end, the readers will understand the moral that good overcomes evil.

I chose to write private eye mysteries. Many critics see the modern PI as a linear descendant of the venerable cowboy who helped tame the West. He’s committed to seeking truth and justice and devotes his energies to protecting those unable to protect themselves. Raymond Chandler, creator of Phillip Marlowe and one of the genre’s most famous authors, wrote this memorable line in an essay on “The Simple Art of Murder:”

“But down these mean streets a man must go who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid.”

After noting several well known fictional private eyes, Robert J. Randisi, who founded the Private Eye Writers of America, said, “All of these characters operate under the same general moral code, which is of course a large part--if not the largest part--of the P.I. ambience. The code says, ‘The guilty must be punished, and I'm.gonna .punish them!’”

Others trace the American private eye’s heritage all the way back to Lancelot and King Arthur. Wherever he came from, he’s a complex character who we feel obliged to root for. He’s the sort of guy I like to read about and, conversely, the one I enjoy writing about.

Another reason we write mysteries is the challenge of creating a believable scenario with enough clues and twists and turns to keep readers interested and keep them guessing. Basically, besides the detective, there are only three other characters necessary in a mystery–a murderer, another suspect, and a victim. In such a case, however, it would be advisable to keep the victim alive until well into the story. Otherwise you’d have to indulge in quite a bit of the dreaded flashback.

I’ve seen this idea pursued in a short story, but never a novel. Maybe it’s a challenge to consider. Have you read any mysteries with a minimal cast of characters? How did the author keep you guessing for 70,000 words or more?

How the ending begins

Writing the ending to a mystery novel is always a challenge. When I first started working on mysteries, I would have a beginning in mind and an idea for what would happen at the end. Not exactly how it would happen, but a pretty good feel for the ultimate fate of the characters.

The more books I write, the more it all becomes a big mystery for me. About all I know for sure is that the bad guy or gal, maybe guys and gals, will get their comeuppance at the end. Since I’m learning the story along with my protagonist(s), I’m occasionally as surprised as they are at what occurs.

In listening to a bunch of panels at the SleuthFest conference in Florida last weekend, I found that most of the author panelists felt it best to plot out your mystery in advance. Maybe I’m too lazy, but I’ve never managed to do that.

I start out with a scenario for some kind of criminal enterprise that results in murder. I people it with characters who have a stake in the outcome, some innocent and some guilty as Obama’s tax dodgers. I write a character sketch for each of them. In that process, I learn from their backgrounds and actions how they’ll fit into the plot.

Then I start writing with an eye toward the ultimate solution to the crime and its resulting case of homicide. By that time I normally know whodunit, though in at least one case I changed the murderer in the middle of the book.

As the story moves closer to the final act, I begin looking for ways to get my protagonist in really big trouble. That’s when the fun begins. It can’t be a simple step up to the guilty party, show a weapon, and demand the surrender. The good guy must find himself in mortal danger before he manages to turn things around.

I’d like to cite some examples of how I do that, but I ain’t givin’ nothin’ away. You’ll have to read the books to find out. Some of them have surprise endings, particularly the one where I switched killers. A few readers said they thought I had cheated until they went back and saw where I had laid the foundation for what happened.

My new book, The Surest Poison, has a bit of a twist at the end I haven’t used before. I hope you like it. Go to Poison.htm for links to ordering the book.

Israel, a fertile ground for mystery writers

Herod's Mountain Fortress at Masada

A recent news story about new findings from King Herod’s burial site in Israel brought back memories of my trip to the Holy Land in 1998. We visited the impressive construction projects Herod the Great built in the port city of Caesarea and atop the famous mountain fortress of Masada.

Being a mystery writer, though not published at the time, I viewed most places on the trip with an eye to how they might be used in a novel. I had bought a camcorder just before heading to the Middle East and took about three hours of videos during the tour.

Traveling by Royal Jordanian Airlines, we flew into Amman and spent a day cruising by bus through the mostly desolate Jordanian desert to visit two interesting sites. We stood on Mount Nebo where Moses gazed across the Jordan River before his death. Then we toured the ancient city of Petra, made famous by one of its striking building fronts, carved out of rose sandstone, being featured in the climax of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Our first taste of the dichotomy between Israel and its neighbors came as we approached the Allenby Bridge over the Jordan River. It’s called the King Hussein bridge on the east side. We had to leave the Jordanian bus and board an Israeli bus for the crossing.

Jericho provided our first taste of the Promised Land, the same as Joshua in the Bible. Billed as the world’s oldest and lowest city (820 feet below sea level), its ancient tel, or archeological site, has been peeled back to reveal 26 layers of civilization dating back to 8000 B.C. Heading on to the Holy City, we checked into our hotel in East Jerusalem, the Arab district.

Our savvy Nashville travel agent, who joined us on the tour, booked us through a tour company run by two Palestinian brothers (who, incidentally, attended the University of Tennessee). He said we wouldn’t have any trouble in the Palestinian territories as they knew the bus was owned by Arabs.

For the next few days, we shuttled around various Jerusalem sites, plus Bethlehem, the Dead Sea Scroll caves at Qumran, the Dead Sea shoreline, and Masada. We were advised to steer clear of the West Bank hotbeds of Hebron and Ramallah. We visited such fascinating spots as Hezekiah’s Tunnel, dug 1,500 feet through the rock from both ends at once in 700 B.C. We also toured the Shrine of the Book, which houses the Dead Sea Scrolls; Yad Vashem, the Holocaust museum; the Temple Mount with its striking Dome of the Rock; the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, built on several levels and occupied by several different religious orders.

One of the more interesting stops was an Arab market filled with small but colorful shops. We had to stop and try the Israelis' favorite fast food, a falafel (spiced chickpea fritter) tucked into pita bread.

During the next week, we traveled north through Samaria, with a stop at Jacob’s Well, heading into the fertile Yizreel Valley. We visited Mount Meggido, called Armageddon in Revelations, walking among the ruins, including a trip down 183 steps to see the historic water tunnel. Then it was on to the Sea of Galilee, where we stayed in Nazareth. We sailed on the sea in a fishing boat allegedly like the one Jesus rode in. They dipped in a net, but it came up empty.

We toured biblical sites around the Galilee, also known as Lake Kinneret, including the Mount of the Beatitudes, Capernaum, and churches dedicated to various incidents such as the multiplication of loaves and fishes. We visited the attractive Kibbutz Ein Gev and traveled up the steep slopes of the Golan Heights to an old attillery emplacement looking down over the kibbutz where Syrian gunners fired on the Israeli settlers.

Our tour began to wind down with a visit to Mount Carmel, where Elijah vanquished the priests of Baal. Then we headed for Israel’s third largest metropolitan area, Haifa. The hillside Baha’i Shrine and Gardens provided a striking panorama, as did a view of the Haifa port. Afterward, we headed south along the Mediterranean to the historic city of Caesarea, built by King Herod.

At the outdoor Roman Theater, our guide stood on the stage and showed how a normal voice could be heard all around the seating area. We also checked out the ruins of Herod’s hippodrome, which had seating for 20,000 people. Then we toured the remains of the king’s port, now part of the Crusader city. Just beyond this stood a Roman aqueduct built in the A.D. 100’s. It had steps leading up so we could walk along a section of the monstrous project.

After overnighting in a seaside hotel at Netanya, we headed into Tel Aviv, the country’s commercial center. Our final stop was the old port city of Jaffa on Tel Aviv’s south side. Old Jaffa had a special attraction for me, with its warren of stairstep streets through the reconstructed ruins of Turkish palaces, flanked by pastel colored artist’s studios, galleries, and outdoor cafes.

In fact, the experience led me to open the first chapter in Secret of the Scroll, my initial Greg McKenzie mystery, in Old Jaffa.

On our flight home from Amman, I read in the Royal Jordanian magazine about an archeological dig at Bethany in Jordan, the area where John the Baptist preached. It mentioned finding caves that had been occupied by monks in the early centuries. I thought what if someone found an ancient scroll in one of those caves. After I got home, it quickly developed into a plot. Happily, I had my videos to help out.

I used much of my travel experience to tell the story, sending Greg and Jill McKenzie on an identical trip. Many of the locations appear just as they did to me. It was a classic example of using your travels to create a mystery. You can get a feel for it by reading the opening chapters at my website.

Call me curmudgeon (but don't be nasty)

I suppose it’s my time to act curmudgeonly. I recently read a mystery that has been highly praised by some big-name authors. The main character is quite well drawn and is an interesting mix of tenacious cop heavily flawed by fate and a highly abrasive manner.

He has some serious medical problems that are described at great length. Ditto his personal problems with some ladies. Maybe I’m too jaded, but for me all the personal introspection and excess police department rivalry slow the story and impede the progress of the mystery. Admittedly his illness ties in with the plot, but at times it seems to weigh it down as if tied to a concrete block.

There’s also the tendency to over-describe the settings. I can do without knowing about every knick-knack that fills a room, whether it be in a home, a bar, or an office. I like to throw in occasional scenes in restaurants and other locales that add color to the story, but I get the feeling this book overdid it. It’s not alone, I hasten to add.

As I indicated, I readily concede to being a bit of a curmudgeon here, but I’m a fan of the faster-paced mystery. My style is to keep the extraneous stuff to a minimum and keep the action on target.

Perhaps it would be better to call this book a character study more than a mystery. My problem is that though I felt sympathy for the cop, he was too harsh to enjoy a score much above a 2.5 on the Likability Scale. His determination to get to the bottom of the crime was admirable, and of course he made it by the end of the story, but his penchant for laying waste to the landscape left scant room for endearment.

I like my protagonists to be flawed. That’s what makes them interesting and believable. But this guy carried a chip on his shoulder the size of a two-by-four. And one other thing. The “f” word was thrown around like a ping-pong ball bouncing about the table. That’s one of my pet peeves. Sure, some cops cuss like sailors. Some sailors cuss like cops. But if you’re not going to tell me every other word they use on a regular basis, why dwell on this one? Use it once or twice and I know it’s in their lexicon. More than that it’s gratuitous trash.

Okay, enough ranting. This, of course, is one reader’s opinion. Others, maybe most others, may differ. They will see the book from an entirely different perspective and probably give it five stars. I hope it does well.

One final note, my new Sid Chance mystery, The Surest Poison, due out in April, can now be pre-ordered from Barnes & Noble online.

The mystey of February 2nd

Okay, you know what today is. The day otherwise sane people gather in great numbers to watch a squirrelly rodent emerge from his hole in the ground. Their interest is centered around whether there will be six more weeks of winter or an early spring.

The mystery is why the news media will make such a fuss over this rather ingenuous ceremony. Hollywood even made a movie a few years back titled Groundhog Day. Do a Google search and you'll come up with 2,340,000 mentions in .06 seconds. One of the more interesting ones is on Examiner.com, where an astrology correspondent says "As Groundhog Day approaches, Mercury predicts three more weeks of chasing our tails trying to catch up with our shadows."

The biggest fuss, of course, takes place in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania where a groundhog named Phil has been known to attract up to 40,000 people. I trust the crowd will be a bit smaller today as many of them will be out looking for work. I wonder if Congress has provided a bailout for groundhog keepers in its $800-plus billion boondoggle?

Getting back to the murder mystery angle, what if some nefarious malcontent should take a potshot at Phil? Since this has pretty much become a national holiday, would that make it a Federal crime? It could be a terrorist act, you know.

To get into the historical mystery category, I delved back into the day's origins. It seems a bunch of German immigrants brought the practice to Pennsylvania. Some intrepid historian found a diary entry dated February 4, 1841 with this beguiling note:

"Last Tuesday, the 2nd, was Candlemas day, the day on which, according to the Germans, the Groundhog peeps out of his winter quarters and if he sees his shadow he pops back for another six weeks nap, but if the day be cloudy he remains out, as the weather is to be moderate."

That takes us back to Candlemas Day, a Catholic observance also known as Feast of the Presentation of Christ in the Temple, observed on February 2 and involving a blessing of the candles. How the groundhog got in on this I'm not sure.

The really curious part of the whole deal is why if the sun is out, thus indicating a warming trend, the critter's seeing his shadow should mean six more weeks of winter. Logic would seem to point the other way around. But, then, who said it had anything to do with logic anyway?

For an interesting take on the situation, check this article on Slate.com.

Maybe I'll write a groundhog mystery and clear up the whole thing. Meanwhile, to keep with the times, get out and do something silly today.