Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The 911 call from hell
"Nine-one-one, how can I help you?"
"I'm caught in the midst of a blazing inferno."
"What's your address?"
"Address? Hell if I know."
"Sir, we must have an address to send firefighting equipment and rescue crews. Is there a nearby intersection?"
"Uh, yeah, I see a red-hot sign--Torment Trail and Damnation Boulevard."
"I'm sorry, sir, but those streets aren't on my map. What city are you in?"
"I don't know about cities, but hurry up. It's hot as hell here."
"Are there other people caught in this fire?"
"You'd be surprised at how many."
"And you're at the corner of Torment and Damnation and you don't know what city?"
"City, schmitty, I need water...cold water. Hurry!"
"Sir, this sounds like a hoax to me. If you can't provide a location, I'll have to cut you off. I have important calls to answer."
"What the devil do you want me to do?"
"Frankly, sir, you can just go to hell."
"I've been trying to tell you--that's where I am."
For less hellacious foolishness, check my website.